it's the most wonderful time of the year!

Hubs and I bought our first real tree for our first real house and the sight and smell of the tree when I walk through the door seems to have a calming effect on me and is more than welcome especially after the days I've been having at work. There are needles all over the floor but I'm going to say that it's completely worth it to get a real tree and getting to go choose a tree, your tree, with your family. I think we'll do the real thing for quite a while!

In other news our dog determined it would be a good idea to completely rip up the carpet and carpet pad, down to the plywood today while we were gone. Guess he didn't like the color? I have to keep telling myself that it's not his fault - we adopted him, and he came from a puppy mill where he wasn't treated well at all. He's a sweet dog and means well but has extreme anxiety when he is separate from us. We tried something different today (now that we have the tree up) and I guess he didn't like it... hence the shredding of the carpet...

Happy Holidays everyone!

is the doc for reals?

TMI Alert. (Well, maybe not, but it may be a bit more than you care to know...) I figure that since I've determined that "this is year", I should start doing a little research to see what exactly I could be getting myself into.

Each month, for close to 14 years I've suffered severe cramps with my period. At a young age, my gynecologist put me on a birth control pill to help lessen the severity of the cramps. For a while, the birth control seemed to help and the pain was bearable however, about 4 years ago I started realizing that the pill really wasn't doing the trick anymore. My doctor prescribed a stronger pill (more expensive as well - health insurance didn't cover this pill) which also didn't provide me with the relief I hoped it would. The gynecologist had thought the cramps were a result of cysts on my ovaries - I had sonograms done, proving otherwise - and the term endometriosis was tossed around but nothing was ever conclusive.

Endometriosis (if you don't know) is a condition where the tissue that lines the inside of the uterus actually grows outside of the uterus. The body sheds the lining in the uterus each month during menstruation, but the tissue that grows outside of the uterus obviously is not shed and over time can cause issues if/when a woman tries to get pregnant.

I'm surely not ruling this out as a possible problem, though my fingers and toes are crossed that there is no problem and maybe I'm just a big cry baby with no tolerance for pain. When I say that I suffer from severe cramps though, I mean that I suffer from severe cramps. My cramps have been so extreme over the past 14 years that my mom used to give me a shot of brandy (a remedy her mother used to "cure" my mothers cramps) before going to school and I will often sip on a glass of rum/brandy/wine to take the edge off! My cramps have forced me to miss school/work at times, leave me in tears, curled in a painful ball in my bed for hours and cause me to pop advil every other hour. The cramping affects my lower back as well and not even a heating pad does the trick.

A few years ago at my annual, I again (as usual) brought up my issue with cramps. I was told that aside from the pill, surgery and an increase in Vitamin-C and iron (which I try to remember to take when I know my  monthly pal is due to arrive) that the only way to permanently lessen the pain was to get pregnant. My mother had mentioned this to me before - wishful thinking on her part, or so I thought! When my doctor spoke those words my jaw nearly hit the floor - I couldn't believe what I was hearing! (Side note: I was 22 when my doctor first mentioned this to me - so this wasn't as out of line as it might have been had I been younger!)

Since I hope to get pregnant in the next year, I decided to finally do some research on this to see if the doctor was for reals or was just pulling my leg to get out of finding another way to help me! Turns out there are many message boards and articles regarding this issue. I learned a few things in my research, that my gynecologist never really discussed with me and I'm sure I didn't learn in sex ed in middle school.

Severe uterine pain is called dysmenorrhea. There are two types, primary and secondary, primary being the common type and occurring in women who have not had children, usually disappearing after a full-term pregnancy, secondary being caused by a disease in the uterus, fallopian tubes or ovaries (endometriosis, PID, uterine fibroid tumors).

Like I said, I'm hoping I'm just a wuss, and am just not capable of handling even a little bit of pain and my fingers are crossed that I don't suffer from secondary dysmenorrhea. I guess only time will tell and if we run into any issues we'll cross that bridge when we get there. For the time being, I want to continue to learn all I can to ensure that things go as smoothly as they possibly can... at least the things that are in my control.

this is the year.

This is the year. I can feel it... or I think I can feel it. I'm hoping it's the year. The hubs and I have spoken quite a bit about the B word this past month. He's gotten slightly more comfortable discussing it though I think it's probably overkill for me to bring it up every day. I don't mean to, but it happens. I see an etrade commercial with the talking babies or our neighbors walking their baby around the neighborhood and I can't help but think about what it would be like to have one of our own. A friend of ours just posted belly shots on facebook and another friend went into labor last night. We're babysitting another friends newborn next weekend, I'm attending a baby shower the following weekend, and two of my cousins are pregnant, due around the same time. Needless to say, there are babies everywhere I turn.

This is the year. We're not getting any younger, I know we're not that old to begin with, but we're not getting any younger! I'm ready. I can feel it, mentally and emotionally that is, physically... well, that's another story. I'm not where I hope to be weight-wise (I hope to be 20lbs less when it happens) when I get pregnant knowing how much on average a woman gains when pregnant but I'll get there before it's time to start trying. I'm certainly emotionally ready. In the past I've felt pangs of anxiousness and nervousness at the thought of having a baby and though those emotions will never completely disappear, I've never felt so calm and ready. Sure it's a big change. Sure it's demanding, but I'm ready.

Is a guy ever ready though? Very rarely do I hear someone say that their husband is ready for a baby but they aren't. More often than not, it's the woman pushing for a child and the man constantly resisting. Hubs isn't so much resisting as he is trying to push it off into the unforeseeable future. It doesn't help that his mother continues to state her opinion that we are too young (we are both 27 - she had her first when she was 27...). Sticking to my timeline, we will have been married 2.5 years and we'll both be 28 by the time baby number one arrives. This feels really comfortable to me in that we didn't rush into having a baby (the hubs couldn't rush into anything if he tried... 10 years of dating before popping the question...), we enjoyed 2.5 years of wedded bliss sans child (and doesn't the birth of a child only make the love of a family grow that much stronger and greater?) Also, by the time we're ready for #2 and #3 (hubs wants 3 mind you...) we will be around 30 and 32 which seems pretty perfect to me.

I'm filled with joy at the thought of starting a family. The nervousness and anxiousness that I feel lies with my husband. I want him to feel ready. I want him to tell me he's ready. I don't want to feel like I've pushed this onto him; that I've pushed a baby that he's not yet ready for, onto him. I'm almost certain that this would ahem, ruin the moment, you might say... the time comes (no pun intended) and all I can think is "he doesn't want this, he doesn't want this" - doesn't seem like the way things should go, if you ask me. But how do you help a man prepare himself and feel ready? Is this how the majority of men think? Do most women ignore the un-readiness of the man and just go for it when they know they are ready? I almost feel like I have to push him in order for it to ever happen. If I didn't push and I just waited for him to come around, I'm 99.9% sure that I'd be in my late 30's, early 40's before having #1, and I don't know many women who want to wait that long.

I'm ready. I hope this is the year and I hope the hubs shares the same sentiment...

bottomless (thanksgiving) pit

Fall is my absolute favorite time of the year. I love the colors, I love the warm sweaters and I love curling up with a mug of hot chocolate, but most of all, I love the food.

Lately I've been doing really well with the working out/Jillian thing. I'm seeing huge results in my stamina and my breathing while working out. My legs feel strong and controlling my breathing while running is not a problem at all. 3 mile run - easy peasy

Enter, Fall, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. Needless to say, the scale is still not my friend. All I want to do is make and eat delicious food! Here are just some of the things I've been making - much more to come, I'm sure!

a little twist on apple crisps!

sweet and salty pumpkin seeds

creamy sweet potato soup

pumpkin bread

What do you crave in the fall? What are some of your favorite fall recipes?! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

and cute to boot!

I'm not one to follow trends, clothing/style trends that is. It may be because I don't want to look like every other girl walking down the street or simply because when I try to pull off the current trend, I fail miserably which then leads me to use the excuse of not wanting to "look like everyone else."

Sigh...

Which leads me to the main reason for writing this post. I want to rock the mid-calf boot, and I want to rock the hell out of it. I've never worn a boot, let alone purchase a boot and I'm not one to spend massive amounts of money on shoes or anything for that matter; I'm certainly not a spendthrift by any stretch of the imagination. But, when I happened upon this boot, I fell in love and felt more than willing and happy to spend the 90 bones these babies cost (and yes, I'm aware that $90 is actually not much to spend on a boot, especially when I saw boots for $325, but $90 for me is significant!)

Behold, the Steve Madden Candence Boot

Pulling up to my house today I spotted the perfectly boot-sized Amazon box, quickly parked, grabbed the box and ran into the house, throwing my purse to the floor and ripping the box open in an excited frenzy. I slipped off my flats and pulled the beautiful leather over my leg only to discover that my legs need to go on a diet, or try annorexia for a little.... something! The boot fits perfectly, but a bit too perfectly. I can fit a finger or two between the boot and my leg (side note: I don't have fat calves but they are definitely muscular after all the running and shredding I've been doing) which means that a skinny jean is going to be difficult to fit into the boot, leaving me with the option of leggins.

Like I said, I rarely rock a trend (normally because I don't know how) and I've never worn a boot... so, I now own a boot, but now what do I do?! Leggins scare me but I've never worn them so maybe they aren't as scary as I think. If I wear a leggin with the boots what do I wear on top? I need some ideas!

(These looks are super cute but, not gonna lie, they are going to make me look like I'm wearing a potato sack - not the look I'm going for, fyi)

Anyone have the same issue? Do you have muscular calves that preclude you from wearing the many cute boots you see girls with toothpicks as legs prancing around in? (no offense to the toothpicks out there - I envy you more than you'll ever know). Have you found a boot that fits you perfectly? Any go-to's for sweaters/shirts/accessories/etc. to wear with boots and leggins?

What trend have you attempted recently that you were worried about, but then totally rocked it out?

holiday headaches.

 Tis the season to be.... frustrated.

Hubs and I determined that it'd be best if we started discussing the holidays with our families early in an attempt to avoid some issues we knew would arise, and set plans in advance so that last minute decisions wouldn't have to be made.

This plan has apparently backfired.

Instead of asking if we could figure out plans for holidays we should have just stated what our plans were. Last year we spent Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas with his family, so, to keep it fair, this year we'd rotate and spend Thanksgiving with hubs family and Christmas with my family. Well apparently hubs sister had different plans in mind which involved us spending Christmas again with their family (because it worked with her schedule and her boyfriends schedule). She told us that this would work best for her (because it's always about her) and then proceeded to tell hubs mother who obviously is thrilled.

Last night we received a somewhat nasty email (after we stated that to be fair we'd do the opposite of what we did last year) saying that she doesn't understand why it would be a big deal to do the same thing as last year and that it would be great for them all to be together for Christmas. (well, duh! what mother wouldn't want that?!)

Quick side notes: Both of our fathers have passed away, my mother re-married, hubs mother has not, and lives alone. She is very jealous and acts like a martyr when she spends weekends alone or when she cooks a meal for us. She had Christmas dinner for us last year and even after I offered to bring something or help her with the cooking, she complained that no one cut her any slack or helped her and that she works hard during the week and then had to make Christmas dinner. Sigh.... now maybe you see what I'm working with here...

Hubs and I are trying to stick to our guns and do the opposite of what we did last year, because honestly, it's only fair! It's my family's turn to spend Christmas with us. That's just the way it has to be! Right?

Does anyone have any experience with these issues? I used to love the holidays but now I'm not so sure. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. We thought we were being fair but now we're being criticized for not compromising!

If you've read past posts of mine you'd know a little more about my SIL. She was able to get her way during my wedding, mostly because I didn't want to create (even though she was the one creating) any drama. ie. I wanted tea length dresses and because she didn't like her calves (ugh) she convinced me to choose longer bridesmaids dresses.

Please help! How do you divvy up the holidays?

shred update.

Ok, so, I'm feeling a little indifferent about 30 Day Shred at the moment...

The Positives:
1. Great work out for it being only 25 minutes (Jillians lies about it being 20, the dvd player tells me differently).
2. You can make the workout as easy or difficult as you want - varying weights/sinking deeper into moves, etc.
3. You don't have to go to the gym to get a workout in; you can work out in the comfort of your own home.
4. Going for runs has gotten a lot easier, I'm not getting winded as quickly and my legs feel a lot stronger.

The Not So Positives:
1. It's only 25 minutes... I know Jillian says it's all you need as long as you don't "phone it in" but in the end, like I said, it's only 25 minutes.
2. Hubs and I have been shredding fairly religiously (there were a few days that were skipped so it'll be more like 40 Day Shred - we've been jogging though, if we don't Shred) but recently I've noticed that the number on the scale keeps rising little by little each week and that I've developed what can only be described as a tummy pooch. Like I've said before - I've never been stick skinny but I've never been overweight and my stomach has always been somewhat flat (though not toned). The ab exercises have caused me to gain muscle under the fat on my stomach, causing me to have some strange bulges and pooches here and there... definitely not a fan.

Conclusion: Shredding = not enough cardio = muscle gain but no weight loss = higher number on the scale = tears.

So, I'm indifferent. I'm more than upset that my weight is climbing and I'm not noticing a huge difference in how my clothes fit, and I'm not pleased about the muscle bugles, but running has gotten a lot easier and I can feel my muscles getting toner.

I'm at a loss. I tried Jillians Metabolism Booster (50 minute workout) in addition to the 25 minute workout (boy does that kick your ass) and this morning I lost one whole pound! (note the sarcasm) I guess I'll continue with the workouts, especially as it gets colder and especially because I don't plan on shoveling out money to join a gym.

It was worth a shot... I think I'd still recommend it, but only as a supplemental workout to a higher intensity cardio workout. You do feel pretty good after the workout, and at least it's something for those who don't have a lot of time after/before work for an hour or two hour workout.

I think I'll keep you around a bit longer Jillian. Let's just lose the stomach pooches, please.