this is the year.

This is the year. I can feel it... or I think I can feel it. I'm hoping it's the year. The hubs and I have spoken quite a bit about the B word this past month. He's gotten slightly more comfortable discussing it though I think it's probably overkill for me to bring it up every day. I don't mean to, but it happens. I see an etrade commercial with the talking babies or our neighbors walking their baby around the neighborhood and I can't help but think about what it would be like to have one of our own. A friend of ours just posted belly shots on facebook and another friend went into labor last night. We're babysitting another friends newborn next weekend, I'm attending a baby shower the following weekend, and two of my cousins are pregnant, due around the same time. Needless to say, there are babies everywhere I turn.

This is the year. We're not getting any younger, I know we're not that old to begin with, but we're not getting any younger! I'm ready. I can feel it, mentally and emotionally that is, physically... well, that's another story. I'm not where I hope to be weight-wise (I hope to be 20lbs less when it happens) when I get pregnant knowing how much on average a woman gains when pregnant but I'll get there before it's time to start trying. I'm certainly emotionally ready. In the past I've felt pangs of anxiousness and nervousness at the thought of having a baby and though those emotions will never completely disappear, I've never felt so calm and ready. Sure it's a big change. Sure it's demanding, but I'm ready.

Is a guy ever ready though? Very rarely do I hear someone say that their husband is ready for a baby but they aren't. More often than not, it's the woman pushing for a child and the man constantly resisting. Hubs isn't so much resisting as he is trying to push it off into the unforeseeable future. It doesn't help that his mother continues to state her opinion that we are too young (we are both 27 - she had her first when she was 27...). Sticking to my timeline, we will have been married 2.5 years and we'll both be 28 by the time baby number one arrives. This feels really comfortable to me in that we didn't rush into having a baby (the hubs couldn't rush into anything if he tried... 10 years of dating before popping the question...), we enjoyed 2.5 years of wedded bliss sans child (and doesn't the birth of a child only make the love of a family grow that much stronger and greater?) Also, by the time we're ready for #2 and #3 (hubs wants 3 mind you...) we will be around 30 and 32 which seems pretty perfect to me.

I'm filled with joy at the thought of starting a family. The nervousness and anxiousness that I feel lies with my husband. I want him to feel ready. I want him to tell me he's ready. I don't want to feel like I've pushed this onto him; that I've pushed a baby that he's not yet ready for, onto him. I'm almost certain that this would ahem, ruin the moment, you might say... the time comes (no pun intended) and all I can think is "he doesn't want this, he doesn't want this" - doesn't seem like the way things should go, if you ask me. But how do you help a man prepare himself and feel ready? Is this how the majority of men think? Do most women ignore the un-readiness of the man and just go for it when they know they are ready? I almost feel like I have to push him in order for it to ever happen. If I didn't push and I just waited for him to come around, I'm 99.9% sure that I'd be in my late 30's, early 40's before having #1, and I don't know many women who want to wait that long.

I'm ready. I hope this is the year and I hope the hubs shares the same sentiment...